Dream with me

Still feeling anti-people and no Ball

Thankfully most people seemed to take the hint from my screaming rant yesterday and just left me alone, for which I am eternally grateful. I'm starting to reach breaking point with those around me. I've become something of an impromptue Agony Aunt for everyone I know.

I really wish people wouldn't tell me their problems. I don't have any answers. I'm not in the least bit good at giving advice. The best I can ever supply people with is 'don't worry, it could be worse' and that really doesn't help anyone.

I got thrown over the edge by a comment a friend of mine made in regards to something I did yesterday. It's taken me a long hard road to become someone I like and am comfortable with being and there's no way to lose my friendship and respect quicker than to critisise that.

As a result I didn't feel much like going out. I was meant to meet Hayley and the Nadine in Hanley and ended up not going.

Ah well, what difference does it make really. I don't have much longer left in Wedgewood Hall. In fact, this time next week I will be at home, staring down the streatch of three full months of boring summer holidays before I can come back here. It wouldn't be so bad if my friendship with Charlie and co hadn't become so...I suppose diluted would be an apt description. It's not as strong as it was this time last year and I think Uni has played a large part in that. None of us talk as much as we used too and when we do, there isn't much to talk about.

I suppose a few visits to Morde' might change that but I'm not sure I want to make the effort...

I've decided not to go to the Summer Ball after all. I don't want to pay �20 to go on my own and spend the night either tagging along with someone else or just plain bored shitless by it all. Instead I think I shall use the �20 to buy myself a Chinese and spend the night in front of the TV. At least that way I won't have to deal with people.

It's a shame I won't get to wear the skirt mum made, I tried it on yesterday when I was still in a good mood and it's beautiful, I love it. I love the top that mum bought me to go with it too. I'll try it on again later and see it I can't take a picture you show you guys.

I think I will have to lie to the parents and tell them I went, just so as I don't have mum on my back over it.

I'll have to start doing some serious packing this week. Mostly consisting of putting clothes into bags to go home. I was debating laundry but it seems a little pointless, I can last a week, why waste the money?

In case you can't tell, I'm not feeling very cheerful. I'm trying to cheer myself up by writing a fanfiction which will be reserved for myself and Sivy I think. I might have to turn to chocolate.

Hell the way I'm feeling, I might have to turn to alcohol.

Ja Ne all