Dream with me

Quote Happy!

Apoligies in advance, I'm having a quote fetish again! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

My experience in Amsterdam is that cyclists ride where the hell they like and aim in a state of rage at all pedestrians while ringing their bell loudly, the concept of avoiding people being foreign to them. My dream holiday would be a) a ticket to Amsterdam b) immunity from prosecution and c) a baseball bat :-)

-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

There should be a notice ahead of the movie that says 'This movie is PG. Can you read? You are a Parent. Do you understand what Guidance is? Or are you just another stupid toddler who thinks they're an adult simple because they've grown older and, unfortunately, have developed fully-functioning sexual organs? Would you like some committee somewhere to decide everything for you? Get a damn grip, will you? And shut the wretched kid up !'

-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

I think perhaps the most important problem is that we are trying to understand the fundamental workings of the universe via a language devised for telling one another when the best fruit is.

-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic.

-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

Can you capture triumphant disdain on a camcorder?

Note to self - never vacation on an active volcano (MST3K)

Never trust any complicated cocktail that remainds perfectly clear until the last ingredient goes in, and then immediately clouds.

-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

Good...Bad...I'm the guy with the gun. (Army Of Darkness)

I'm free. Free as a bird chained to an anchor sinking into the depths of the ocean. (Jump Ship)

I didn't go to university. Didn't even finish A-levels. But I have sympathy for those who did.

-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

That seems to point up a significant difference between Europeans and Americans. A European says: "I can't understand this, what's wrong with me?" An American says: "I can't understand this, what's wrong with him?"

-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

AFPer: We've missed you, did you miss us? TP: Yes, but I think I have time to reload. :-)

-- Terry returns to a.f.p. after a temporary absence. (Terry Pratchett and an AFPer, alt.fan.pratchett)

Is there any way I can get it off my fingers quickly without betraying my cool exterior? (X-Files)

Oh, come on. Revelation was a mushroom dream that belonged in the Apocrypha. The New Testament is basically about what happened when God got religion.

-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

Bognor has always meant to me the quintessential English seaside experience (before all this global warming stuff): driving in the rain to get there, walking around in the rain looking for something to do when you're there, and driving home in the rain again...

-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

I admit it, dear... I'm a slacker. I am the king of slack and I dwell in my den of slack. (Daniel)

They're dead. -- My god!! I was only away 2 minutes!! (Red Dwarf)

Frankly, a great many of gods creatures are downright disgusting. (MST3K)

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil...prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

As a matter of fact, I'm not even sure what planet I'm on. (Star Wars)

Watch your mouth, kid, or you're going to find yourself floating home. (Star Wars)

I must confess the the activities of the UK governments for the past couple of years have been watched with frank admiration and amazement by Lord Vetinari. Outright theft as a policy had never occured to him.

-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

The garbage shoot was a really wonderful idea. What an incredible smell you've discovered. (Star Wars)

Sure they're windows to the soul... Windows full of goo and little bits of meat!! (MST3K)

That would be bad. Interesting, but bad.

I save about twenty drafts -- that's ten meg of disc space -- and the last one contains all the final alterations. Once it has been printed out and received by the publishers, there's a cry here of 'Tough shit, literary researchers of the future, try getting a proper job!' and the rest are wiped.

-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

Mind you, the Elizabethans had so many words for the female genitals that it is quite hard to speak a sentence of modern English without inadvertently mentioning at least three of them.

-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

I think I would like to go into modelling. Of course, I don't know how to do it, and wouldn't be any good at it if I did, so I'm going to employ someone to walk the catwalks on my behalf. It would still be me, of course...

-- Terry learns Naomi Campbell has written a book. (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb -- they're often students, for heaven's sake.

-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

'They can ta'k our live but they can never ta'k our freedom!' Now there's a battle cry not designed by a clear thinker...

-- Braveheart (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

DW is based on a slew of old myths, which reach their most 'refined' form in Hindu mythology, which in turn of course derived from the original Star Trek episode 'Planet of Wobbly Rocks where the Security Guard Got Shot'.

-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

Oh, well. She's dead. Let's move on, shall we? (Willy Wonka - compliments of Lady Sorka)

Lord, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill because they pissed me off. (compliments of Lady Sorka)

Remember, it takes 42 muscles to frown, but only 4 to extend your middle finger and tell someone to �bite me!� (compliments of Lady Sorka)

Frisbeetarianism: the belief that when you die your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

Dream on. British TV Is The Best In The World is on a par with the statement about how British Justice Is The Envy Of The World ("Hey, Miguel, how come we can't convict innocent people so quickly and expensively?")

-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

I found while driving in Wyoming that wearing a stetson and driving a beat-up pickup meant you could go as fast as you like, while the police picked up Californian winnebagos that went one mph over 55. After all, they wanted to bring money into the state, not merely circulate it.

-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

Somewhere around the place I've got an unfinished short story about Schrodinger's Dog; it was mostly moaning about all the attention the cat was getting.

-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

Somehow, trying to get Granny Weatherwax and 'panty raid' into the same sentence is beyond me.

-- (Terry Pratchett, alt.fan.pratchett)

And I'm done. Aren't you all pleased? Viva la Quotes!